


1 2 3

by calscardigan



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Confessions, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Homophobia, M/M, again BRIEFLY, briefly, but still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28831008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calscardigan/pseuds/calscardigan
Summary: Eddie couldn't help but think it was ironic, that the one person he counted on to be there every time was the one causing it this time.a series of eddie's three biggest heartbreaks
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 10





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Eddie's first heart break, he was four years old, crying in the playground. His mom brought him, told him it was to let his energy out, but he didn't feel like playing. He was just sad. He wanted to go home. 

A kid ran up and sat in front of him. "Why are you sad?"

He wanted to know where his dad went. "My dad's gone."

"Gone? Are you lost? I'll help you find him." The kid looked like he needed the trip to the park way more than Eddie. Eddie liked him. 

"No. My mom said my dad is never coming back. She said he died, but I don't really know what that means." 

The kid made a face. "My great grandma died. We had to go to a funeral. It was really boring." 

Eddie hiccuped. "I want my dad to come back. My mom is meaner when he's gone." 

"I don't know where your dad is...but my name's Richie. What's yours?" 

And sitting there after crying in the playground, Eddie made his first friend. "Eddie. My name's Eddie." 

Eddie had his second heart break at 13, sitting at the dinner table with his mother. The tv was on as they ate, the news spewing something or other about the law that had just passed on same-sex marriage. Eddie tried to act like he wasn't listening, like he couldn't care less. 

His mother put her fork down on her plate, frowning. She sighed and said, "I don't like that these homosexuals are trying to ruin marriage."

Eddie felt his heart stop for a full second before starting again. "What?" God, he felt like he couldn't breathe. He needed his inhaler. 

"I'm just saying that God made Adam and Eve for a reason. Clearly, marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman. No need to dirty it up and make it complicated. Right, Eddie-bear?"

Eddie wanted to say so many things. He wanted to ask his mother if she was even  _ religious,  _ or if that was just an excuse. Instead he nodded and quietly asked to be excused. 

"Okay. But, you know, I wish you would spend more time with me. I am your mother after all. I feel like you don't even love me anymore." She took hold of Eddie's hand in both of hers. 

"I do love you, mommy," Eddie said, staring at the ground with his voice shaky. "I'm just tired." 

"Okay. Goodnight, Eddie-bear." She gave Eddie's hand a squeeze and let go. 

"Goodnight, mommy." Eddie rushed up the stairs, tears already falling down his face. And when he closed the door behind him, there was only one person he could think of to call. 

"Hey, spaghetti! You know, I was wondering, I don't think I've ever seen you eat spaghetti. Do you even like spaghetti? Or do you actually hate it? Wouldn't that be like cannibalism-"

"Rich."  _ Just get it out. Just say it,  _ Eddie thought.  _ You'll feel better after you say it, just say it, you can tell him. It's  _ Richie. 

"Hey, are you okay? You sound kind of upset. Is it because you heard me and your mom-"

"I think I'm gay." 

"Oh," Richie said, then went quiet for a minute. "Okay. Hey. Cool. I'm...I...I'm glad you told me." 

Eddie wiped his eyes, willed them to stop producing tears. "I don't want to."

"Want to...what?" 

"Be gay." It was getting harder to keep from crying. To keep himself from breaking down. 

"Why not?" There was shuffling on the other end of the line. Richie was definitely moving around. 

"Because…" Eddie stopped to keep from sobbing. "Because it's bad?"

"No, it's not. People in this town just suck."

Eddie rolled his eyes, sniffed. "People think being gay is bad everywhere, Richie. Not just in Derry." 

Richie went quiet again, but the phone wasn't quiet. It sounded like it was windy. Richie probably had a fan on. "I don't think it's bad. I think it's okay that you're gay. Great, even."

"Great?" Eddie slid down his door to sit on the floor, picking at his carpet. 

"Yeah. More ladies for me. Not that it would've been much of a competition anyway." 

"Shut up, Richie." 

"Hey, is your mom asleep?"

Eddie looked around. "Maybe? Why?"

"Open your window." 

"Did you finally send an assassin to my house? Why do you want me to…" Eddie trailed off as he opened the window and looked down to the ground in front of his house. There was Richie, flushed like he'd just run a mile, beaming up at Eddie. 

"Well, come on, Rapunzel. Let down your hair." 

Eddie rolled his eyes and backed away from his window, waiting for Richie to climb up. "That is so dangerous, you know. You could get seriously hurt doing that. If you fall, you'd definitely break something, and I'm just letting you know that I am  _ not  _ driving you to the hospital to get an x-ray, alright? You just have to handle that yourself."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Eds. See? I made it up just fine. No need to worry about driving me anywhere." Richie sat on Eddie's bed. 

Of course, Eddie had been standing in front of Richie many times in his life. But somehow….somehow now it was different. Now he wasn't quite sure what to say. Wasn't sure what was too much, too weird. Eddie wasn't sure where the line of something a "best friend" would say was drawn. But he'd never worried about that before. Except, Eddie realized as he sat on the bed beside Richie, yeah, he had. 

"You okay, spagheds?" 

Eddie looked over at Richie, suddenly rethinking everything he'd ever done. Every interaction since the very first time at the park, it was obvious. Somehow… he'd just missed it. "Yeah. Just thinking."

Richie shoved Eddie's shoulder with his own. "Don't hurt yourself." 

Eddie rolled his eyes, shoving Richie back. "Like you have room to talk, trashmouth."

Richie laughed and leaned back against Eddie's headboard. And everything was fine. No life-changing revelations, it was all  _ fine.  _ Eddie's heart wasn't beating like a hummingbird's. In fact, his heart was perfectly fine, thank you very much. 

"Eds...that was really brave of you," Richie said, voice sincere in a way it rarely was. Eddie's stomach did some weird jumping thing, and he almost felt like he was going to throw up, but he also felt better than he ever had in his life. Because no matter how shitty he might feel, Richie thought he was  _ brave. _

"Thank you, Rich."

"'Course. Anything for you, spaghetti." 

Richie was there for every single heart break Eddie has ever felt, but now as Eddie stands staring across the courtyard watching Richie with  _ her _ , he can't help but think that he needs him more than ever. He couldn't help but think it was ironic, that the one person he counted on to be there every time was the one causing it this time. 

Eddie didn't like to think of himself as a jealous person-- nothing to even be jealous of, anyway, Richie was  _ straight _ \-- but today was supposed to be their day. Who the hell even was this girl? And, yeah, maybe Eddie knew he should be happy for Richie, but it's hard to be happy when it feels like someone took a knife to your heart. 

He had to look away. Look at his phone, scroll through Twitter or something. But he couldn't help but keep glancing at them, so he knew when Richie started walking over to him. 

"Where'd you go, Eds? She was asking about you when you left."

Eddie didn't look up from his phone. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Told her she wasn't really your type though." Even without looking, Eddie could tell Richie was winking. "So, you ready to get to the movie?"

Eddie didn't want to know. He didn't want to know, so why did he find himself asking, "Did you get her number?" He looked at Richie, finally, to see him looking shocked.

"I...what?" 

"Did you get her number? You guys seemed to...hit it off or whatever."

"Oh yeah. Uhm...no. But yeah, she was cool. Funny. We talked about comics." 

Eddie's heart panged, and he knew it was ridiculous, but he still found himself thinking that  _ they  _ talked about comics together too. What did she have that he didn't? "Cool." 

"Is everything okay? You're being really weird." Richie laughed, but it clearly wasn't real. 

"Can you just drive me home?" Eddie put his phone in his pocket and turned to look straight at Richie. 

Richie frowned. "What? We haven't even been out for two hours yet. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm  _ fine _ , Richie, I just want to go home." Eddie started walking toward the car. 

"What?" Richie caught up with Eddie. "I can take you home, I don't mind, can you just tell me what's wrong?" 

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Jesus, are you blind or stupid?" In his rush, he nearly passed the car. He opened the door and got in, buckling his seatbelt.

"Are you fucking kidding me? No. No, I'm not doing this right now. This isn't a guessing game, Eddie, this is clearly a problem, and I can't fix it if I don't know what's wrong," Richie said as he got in the driver's seat. He closed the door and turned to face Eddie. "So what's your problem?"

Eddie crossed his arms, stubbornly facing forward to stare out of the windshield. "I don't have a problem."

"Is this about that girl? Look, I'm sorry she, like, interrupted our day, if that's what's wrong." 

Eddie rolled his eyes with a sarcastic laugh. "Okay, because, it was  _ our  _ day and you're  _ flirting  _ with some random girl-"

"I was not flirting with her!" Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie could see Richie throw his hands up in frustration. "Is that it? You're fucking… I don't know, jealous or something? I wasn't flirting with her. We were having a conversation. Why do you even care so much?"

"Because I like you, dipshit!" Eddie yelled, finally turning his head to look at Richie. Oh god. Why did he say that? "I…"

Richie had a… weird expression on his face. Like shock maybe, but not quite. "What?" 

"Nevermind, can you just drive? Please?" Eddie looked down and rubbed his nose.  _ Shit. He probably hates me now.  _

"No, wait. What? Wait, like... _ like  _ me?"

"You know what, I'll just walk home," Eddie said, going to unbuckle his seatbelt.

"Wait! Wait, Eddie, Eds, wait." Richie put his hand on Eddie's arm. "Are… You're being serious?"

Eddie shrugged Richie's hand off. "What do you think?" 

"Okay, can...wait, stop, can you just calm down for a second? Eds?"

Eddie's face felt warm, and he honestly couldn't tell if it was because he was blushing or because he was about to cry. Either way, this was too much. He was not about to stick around for that rejection. He continued unbuckling his seatbelt and went to open the door when he heard a click. "Richie, are you serious? Unlock the door." 

"Can you just look at me? Please?" 

Eddie could tell Richie wasn't about to unlock it, so he huffed and turned around. "What?"

"You're not joking? You're being serious?" Richie asked, looking Eddie in the eyes. 

Eddie pursed his lips. He  _ could _ play it off but… "Yeah. 'M being serious." The eye contact was too much, suddenly. He looked away.

"Thank  _ God. _ " 

"What?" Eddie started, but he barely got the word out before Richie was grabbing his face and kissing him, like something out of a fucking movie. Except  _ not,  _ because Eddie was sitting frozen, hands grabbing Richie's forearms. How the hell was he supposed to react to that?

Richie pulled back and laughed. "I'm not sure if you knew this, but you're supposed to kiss back."

Eddie rolled his eyes and said, "Shut the fuck up," and punctuated it by pulling Richie closer and reconnecting their lips. 

Fucking  _ finally.  _

“You know...you could’ve just unlocked the door.”

“Shut up and kiss me, trashmouth.”


End file.
